Only the Truth

It was 1:34am when Jesse reached for the light switch made faintly present by the glaring computer screen in front of me. Once flicked, the red globe bled along the walls of the room and intensified an otherwise poorly lit space. Slumped back in a desk chair, he looked around the bedroom, realising despite it had only been a week since he’d made some effort to clean it, that already it’d returned to its usual state. Bed sheets strewn about the place, clothes not only from previous outings, but ones which were decided against occupied a large portion of the bed. Books and magazines which hadn't received any love were mangled on the ground beneath another heaped mess of clothes which had fallen, and an assortment of shoes were scattered at the base of the bed, where they’d been kicked off feet in a rush to throw one’s body into slumber. Papers, notes and other useless crap found whatever space on the desk they could, until there was none, at which point they began to stack, and eventually slide off.


Guilt ensued. He turned his head in towards his shoulder and with his left elbow resting on the arm of the chair, placed his hand on the crown of his head, to run fingers through hair and down to the scalp slowly, in one repetitive motion. A fine toothed comb. Stress relief.

He knew it was another day wasted – spent losing himself in a fantasy world which resembled nothing he could ever have in life. The idea of escapism appeals more than facing reality and the challenges that lie ahead.

It starts and ends the same – a pep talk along the lines of: “Today is the day, make the most of it”, only things spiral downwards so rapidly to the point where sense of self and mind are lost in the abyss. It takes place when he logs on.  In an instant, he's pulled in by some uncontrollable force and immersed in some other worldly space with consciousness robbed; leaving a mindless being before a realm that is seemingly infinite.

The possibilities are endless when you’re online and you've no idea, no sight of what’s around you, what’s important and what you should be doing instead of what you’re actually wasting time on. 

__________________________________________________________

An addiction consumes someone. It makes up all they are, and as long as they're fixated on it they’re likely to never reach their maximum potential. We've all heard something similar before. To most however, video game addiction likely seems less of a major deal than drug or alcohol related addiction, and quite frankly, it is – though writing whilst drinking a tall glass of double Bacardi and Pineapple isn't at all hindering my ability to write, video games require you to be doing nothing else other than focussing on the screen in front of you.

It's the mental and emotional toll associated with video game addiction which has over the last month or so weighed heavily enough for me to finally acknowledge the ordeal I've put myself in, and setbacks in life I've subsequently brought upon myself because of this weakness.

So whilst this side of the blog might come across as rather dark, I'd rather be true to you and myself instead of presenting some bullshit hipster story about my writing endeavours and travels to beautiful, inspiring places and joyous life when it's not even remotely factual.